London - The Outsider's Inside View

London is like Marmite. Some people love it, whilst others hate it. London commuters are a notoriously unfriendly crowd. Do not look at them, or if you must, do not let them catch you catching their eyes. They are the living descendants of Medusa - you can only look at their reflection, otherwise you will be turned to stone.

OK, well, yes. A little over dramatic perhaps. But the truth is not far off! In London you cannot look directly at another passenger on the tube, you must never speak to them in the lift and woe betide if you dare smile at them. You are automatically classified as one of the many (many) tube schizophrenics and to be avoided at all costs!

I moved to London as a bouncy, just-turned-eighteen, law student. I left three years later, almost twenty one, older, a little wiser and a lot more cynical.

In London, people live in bubbles. Your bubble consists of your friends, the local chippy and pub, the man who serves you coffee every morning at the station and taxi drivers. That's about it. Talk to anybody else and you are considered psychotic. Once you get used to the rules, which include reading the same twenty word advert on the tube fifty times to avoid eye contact with another soul, London is amazing.

I first started coming to London when I was fourteen. I used to starve myself at school lunchtime, instead pocketing my £1 lunch money to scrimp and save for months to be able to get tickets to see my favourite bands play in various venues throughout the city. My first ever gig was to see Blur at the Mile End Stadium. I remember working on my Mum for weeks beforehand to allow my friend and I to go. We felt so grown up - a night out at the biggest stadium gig held in the UK (until Oasis topped it the year later with their Knebworth gig) - on our own. Well, until my sister convinced my Mum that she should go too.... and her friend.... and my brother.... anyhow, we remained silly excited. I was wearing my Dodgy skinny tee and my baggy checked trousers, my blonde hair and down to my bottom, donning my red John Lennon glasses. They (Blur) had several supporting acts, so we got there early and settled in for an amazing day. We stayed with my brother throughout the day, and took it in turns to sit on each other's shoulders and sing madly to the Parklife words. We were the first audience to hear their new song 'Country House' and weeks later they released a live CD. I fell in love with gigging and it remained a theme throughout my teens, my twenties (the highlight has to be meeting Gaz (beautiful lead singer from Supergrass) before their gig in a pub in Tufnell Park and offering him a drink) and even now in my (very very very) early thirties.

London has a great live music and clubbing scene. My uni years saw me dancing madly at 'The Cross' near King's Cross (old station archways, which get so hot they have turbine fans to cool the clubbers down), Fabric, and, when with my gay male friend, cheesily at 'G.A.Y.' in the London Astoria.

London has sights-to-see galore. My earliest being the National Gallery at Trafalgar Square with my friends and I being chased up and down in the lifts by the security guard who had warned us not to play in the lifts any more or we'd be chucked out (not my most proud or mature moment). The odd thing about Londoners is that they generally walk right past the sights without seeing them. In my last week of uni, after three years of living in London, my friends and I decided we should probably actually go and see the traditional sights. So we went to see if Lijjibeth (my three best friends at uni were Asian, so Queen Elizabeth II was nicknamed Lijjibeth for the day) was home for tea at Buckingham Palace. We were an odd bunch of friends - one Muslim, one Sikh, one Hindu and one Christian - but it worked and we were inseparable.

The best thing about London is you can always find something new. Like the heavy concealed doors off of Shaftesbury Avenue leading down into the best Moroccan restaurant, quiet parks dotted amongst the streets trodden by thousands, hilarious newcomers to the comedy stage in back rooms above struggling pubs near China Town, and, whilst rollerblading in Hyde Park, discovering masses of roller skaters intricately break dancing to the beats provided by beat boxes on the shoulders of spectators. Then, when the night is done, if you accidentally miss the last tube you can always find an all night cafe in Soho to nurse a coffee or two until the sun returns for morning, and another day in the city begins.

London is not all excitement and light. There are hundreds (thousands?) of homeless on the streets. I used to see the same young girl (thirteen?) on the underground every time I exited at Oxford Circus. She looked so tired, so hungry and so forgotten. And that was before you even noticed she was cradling a young baby. I remember one freezing winter, just a few days before Christmas, I went shopping for last minute bargains, excited about the upcoming festivities, full of gift ideas for my family. I was wrapped up all toasty, disgustingly chuffed with myself in my present choices, ready to set off home (which at the time was Brixton) so treated myself to a Gingerbread Latte at Starbucks before heading towards the tube. I was descending the steps, when I saw her. She looked so cold. I felt embarrassed. I'd just been spending money on glittery cards and shiny gift tags, all pretty, but totally useless items. All the while oblivious to her quiet misery. There was not much I could do to help her, so I emptied my purse and gave her the rest of my money whilst wondering where her family were, and whether they were hoping against hope that she appear on their doorstep on the 25th. She didn't even look up. Her problems were bigger than money - my measly offerings couldn't fix anything for her.

I was once told that, at some point in your life, you have to live or work in London. It is the only way to 'understand' it. It's true, you do see a different London to the London the tourists see. It can be awe inspiring and yet so utterly heartbreaking right around the corner.

So, I guess I have now been out of London for long enough that I am now a tourist too. I was in London twice last week and I even caught myself sitting on the tube doing that 'one, two, three........ nine' head nod thing while counting the stations until my stop. That is a sure sign of a tourist - Londoners never count the stops, they know the tangle of underground stations inside out and back to front as if it were their own veins. London is in their blood.

So, as for me, I have danced in King's Cross, lived on the Caledonian Road, been a barmaid for an Arsenal pub, shopped the amazing foods at Borough Market, pub-crawled 'Upper Street' and gigged my little heart out. But there will always be so much more to see in old Londinium...