Till it Happens to You / Pay it Forward

How was your day today? Successful day at work? Met the deadline, pleased the boss, left on time? Home for tea, quality time with the family, telly, bubble bath, bed? Tomorrow, after the earth has spun around one more time, and the sun has set and rose once more, you will follow a similar dance, which you will repeat with slight variations each day. Something different for lunch. Off site meeting perhaps? Food shopping. Early night. And the funny thing is that you will not even think about it.

But, wait a second. Rewind. What if things were not so simple? What if the little things we take for granted suddenly disappeared? Energy. Health. Hope. Normal everyday life.

The reality is that in those days or weeks in which your world, and the worlds of those closest to you, slow down, every day suddenly full of uncertainty, new medical words and different routines, your former life goes on without you, oblivious to the troubles of others. Because, you see, your eyes are closed to situations such as these. That is, till it happens to you.

So, that is what this post is about. This post is for my colleague who is fighting a very brave fight against the cancer at home. It is for my very good friend who lost someone dear recently. It is for all of those who bring love, light and hope to those who are in so very urgent need of it.

Those of you who are following my posts will know that when I was eight my younger sister was born with a disability. As a family it threw us. We had not had any exposure to disability previously in our life. She, and the situation we found ourselves in, didn't come with a 'your life has just changed forever' manual. We didn't, and still don't, have a diagnosis for her. It makes a difficult time so much lonelier when you do not even have a reason or a prognosis. No other families to talk to about how they coped. No support groups. No charities fighting her corner. She was "undiagnosed". And we thought the end of our world had come early.

Then, we put the feelers out and quietly asked the 'I wonder if there are any other families going through the exact same thing?' question. We were not prepared for the response. There were hundreds of families just like us. We founded the Undiagnosed Children's Group and were soon overwhelmed with parents from all over the UK needing the exact same thing as us. Someone who understood. Someone who knew how we felt. Someone who understood the two repetitive, unbearable, questions that kept ringing in our heads and hung over our family - 'What is wrong with her? Will she die?'.

When you hit a difficult time in your life, and you feel that there is no-one who understands just how lost you feel when you are suddenly thrown off your map of life into uncharted territory there is only one thing for it. You make your own map. You get big, fat, bright, colourful crayons and draw new roads and rainbows and sunshine and bunnies. Uncertainty means you are not certain. It doesn't mean you cannot be positive. So be positive. Positivity is more than half the battle. Make plans. Dream. Be. And when you find your new path, remember there are others who are still lost and pay it forward. Pick someone else up along the way, show them how to cope and find their feet. Remind them of their strength and the necessity of believing that there is better to come.

I really struggled to name this post. So it is dual titled. I am not normally an indecisive girl. I think part of my trouble is that in writing, I wanted to achieve two separate distinct goals. One was for each reader to cherish the health and happiness they have and don't dwell on the little things in life - the missed deadline, the spilt milk. Life is bigger than that. The second was to ask a little favour. If you are in the position to do something extra to bring a little light to another's life, whether this be to volunteer time, make a donation, write an article to raise awareness or just to be there when someone is brave enough to say 'Hey, I need a little help here', then please make a commitment to pay it forward. Whether it be this week, next week, in a month or this year. Even the tinsiest gesture will resonate and make someone's day just that little bit easier.

So, I realise I cannot legitimately ask you to pay it forward if I do not also take part. My pay it forward gesture for today is in this last part of my post. I was recently contacted by a lady raising awareness for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance. She believes in the positive effect of planning for the future, no matter what the present throws at us. She asked for my ideas of how to raise awareness, and my little kooky response was in suggesting this pay it forward idea. Cancer touches all of our lives, whether directly or indirectly, so awareness is key. Her charity is the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance and their blog is available here: http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/ and her post 'Power of the Pen' is copied below.

One last thing... if you do 'pay it forward' please leave a little comment on the bottom of this post. It would be lovely to know if this works

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Write. Set. Go!
 Life is meant to mold our character and test what we're made of. The times during which we grow the most are the times that test our strength and challenge us. Serious illnesses, ranging from autoimmune disorders like multiple sclerosis to rare diseases like mesothelioma cancer, can challenge us more than any other struggle in our lives. However, we can overcome. Every day we overcome. And we give each other strength when we write the words of our stories. We inspire everyone around us when we share our stories. But what we may not realize is how much writing the words of our stories inspires us and encourages us to seek all that life has to offer despite our difficulties, life challenges, or stated mesothelioma prognosis from the previous example.
As we dream of all the things we want to accomplish in our lives, many times we keep all our thoughts and desires to ourselves, much like the emotions and experiences we have during an illness. But if we were to take our thoughts and put them onto paper or blog them, we would be creating something outside ourselves that is uniquely ours and yet shares a part of us with the world. Writing down our experiences helps us work through them. Writing through all the emotions and through our journey, we come to see how much we have and that we have much to do in our lives. We can write down the desires and goals we want to accomplish. By writing them down we give life to them and we hold ourselves more accountable to accomplish them.
 Personally, I maintain seasonal goals. These seem to be the easiest for me to achieve.  In essence, they are short enough for instant gratification and inspiration but also giving me something to look forward to in the near future.
“What do I want to accomplish this fall?”
“What are my must-do’s this summer?”
Be passionate about your outlook and effort in becoming proactive. Don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed and defeated by challenges—let them mold you and drive you to push into areas of your life that you never imagined going. Set yourself on the right path to wellness and stability.
Everyone is different. Everyone knows themselves and how they commit to task and goals. Do try to go above and beyond if you are not ready to push yourself that hard—you may find it discouraging and give up all together. Some goals and accomplishments may be small and simple and for the small moment that we are striving to endure. By writing about our own bucket list, resolutions, goals or desires, we can actually inspire ourselves and motivate ourselves to accomplish what we set out to do.  By writing our goals down we give ourselves more tangible and visual reminders of our dreams and wishes.
Transcending Chronic Illness, continues to describe the healing powers of writing your story. The article describes how writing our story can clear our minds and lift our spirits. Whether on a blog or in a notebook, whether short or long, whether we use fancy or simple language, we all have the power of our words. That power speaks to others and it speaks to us. It can motivate and inspire us to accomplish all the things we wish to do in our lives.  Our words can heal, motivate, and help us live happy lives.

Who knew that inspiration simply lived within us? In writing about my thoughts and emotional tires to actually “writing” I am sharing that inspiration with you all as readers. Take the time to devote to organizing your thoughts and see the difference within your life take place for the better

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